Adoption: ordinary people, extraordinary families
Adoption isn’t about being perfect or having the “right” life story. It’s about people who are open‑minded and ready to put a child first.
Lucy, Oliver, Charlotte and Peter all came to adoption from very different places. What they share is the life‑changing impact adoption has had on their families, and the joy of watching their children grow and thrive.
When the journey takes an unexpected turn
Lucy and Oliver always wanted a family. After marrying later in life, they tried IVF four times without success. Like many couples, they faced disappointment, grief and uncertainty about what might come next.
Lucy felt ready to explore adoption, but Oliver needed more time. The idea of parenting a child who wasn’t biologically related didn’t come easily at first. After attending an adoption information evening and having honest conversations at home, his feelings slowly began to change.
Taking the first step didn’t mean committing straight away. It simply meant learning more.
As Lucy and Oliver moved through the adoption process, they saw how carefully it is designed around children’s needs. Training sessions talked openly about real‑life challenges. Assessments looked closely at support networks. Social workers asked thoughtful, searching questions. The process was demanding but also reassuring.
When they were approved, they were soon matched with a baby girl who needed a forever family. Their introduction was gentle, planned and child‑centred. Over one carefully supported week, trust began to grow. When they finally brought her home, it felt natural - like she had always belonged.
Eighteen months later, they were ready to grow their family again. Today, Lucy and Oliver are parents to two daughters. Their days are busy and full of cycling, walks, gardening and plenty of Frozen sing‑alongs.
Oliver, once unsure, is now a devoted, hands‑on dad. Looking back, Lucy says adoption felt like a marathon, but one that led them exactly where they were meant to be.
Your past doesn’t define your future
For Charlotte, adoption once felt out of reach. She had lived through a traumatic childhood, an abusive relationship, pregnancy loss and a life‑threatening ectopic pregnancy. She worried her past would count against her.
But adoption isn’t about having a flawless past. It’s about honesty, insight and the ability to reflect.
After deciding that pregnancy no longer felt safe, Charlotte and her husband Peter began to consider adoption. They took time to grieve the loss of having a birth child, an important part of moving forward, and applied when they felt emotionally ready.
During the assessment process, Charlotte was offered professional counselling to help her work through her experiences. It wasn’t easy, but it was powerful. Later, she realised it didn’t just support her application – it helped shape the parent she would become.
Charlotte and Peter approached adoption as a team. They were open about what they knew, what they didn’t, and how they would learn. When they were approved, they were shown their daughter Patricia’s profile.
Charlotte didn’t feel an instant connection – and that was okay. But when they met Patricia for the first time, everything changed. Within weeks, she was home.
Like many adopted children, Patricia needed extra reassurance in the early days. With support from adoption services and parenting courses, Charlotte and Peter learned how to understand her behaviour and respond with empathy.
Today, Patricia is a confident, creative child who loves climbing trees, riding her bike and making up stories. Charlotte and Peter have been there for every milestone, and they wouldn’t change a thing.
Charlotte’s message to others is simple: acknowledge your past, but don’t let it stop you from building a future.
Who can adopt?
One of the biggest myths about adoption is that you have to be “perfect”. In reality, there’s no such thing as a perfect adopter, and no single definition of what a family should look like.
People come to adoption from many different backgrounds. You can be single, married, in a civil partnership or living with a partner. You can be a home owner or a renter, living in a house or a flat. You may have a medical condition or a disability. People of all genders, sexual orientations, faiths and ethnic backgrounds are welcome to explore adoption.
What matters most is your ability to offer a child a safe, stable and nurturing home – and the patience, understanding and long‑term commitment that comes with it.
Interested in learning more about adoption?
If you’d like to explore adoption, there’s no pressure and no obligation – just a chance to have a conversation, ask questions and see where it might lead. Adopt Thames Valley’s friendly enquiry team is here to listen, support you and answer any questions you may have.
They also run regular virtual information sessions, where you can:
- learn what adoption involves today
- find out about training and support
- ask questions in a relaxed, welcoming space
- hear directly from adopters about their experiences
Sessions run at different times during the week and are kept small to allow time for discussion.
To book your place:
- complete their online enquiry form (including your preferred session date)
- call 0800 731 0171
- email ATV.iwanttoadopt@oxfordshire.gov.uk (please include your name, contact number and preferred date)
Names have been changed and dates have been left deliberately vague to protect people’s identities.
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